A conspiracy!

Maybe every blogger comes to this place in the end – I’ve no idea – but today here I am birthing my first ever CONSPIRACY THEORY.  I have a theory about corporate America – and it’s not a nice one.  Of course I have no proof, just some angry feelings and an intuitive feeling that I am right…

So you may remember my rant about Wells Fargo Dealer Services, the company that liked to not send me a bill and then charge me lots of late fees.  When I questioned the policy, they told me that a bill was only a ‘courtesy’ and in reality I should have a detailed Excel sheet nestled on my desktop which I checked every day with a sweaty fervor to see if today was the glorious day I got to hand over a big chunk of my paycheck to their company.

Of course what with them not sending a bill and my not having an excel sheet I paid the bill late and got a nice little fine.  Which resulted in their big fat sweaty bank account getting even bigger and my anorexic, bugged-eyed account getting all the more smaller. 

Now – it is my belief that AT&T are on to the same gig as those f*ckers at Wells Fargo… Recently I stopped paying my ex husband’s phone bill and opened a new account just in my name.  The first bill didn’t come when it was due – and still not having that excel sheet up and running I was none the wiser – until I got a text message from AT&T saying my bill was overdue.  What? I never received a bill from you in the first place, you sods!

So I gritted my teeth and called them up and got to speak to a nice but dim lady called Debbie Perry.  She didn’t try and convince me that their providing me with a bill was a luxury of yesteryear – thank goodness – but she did try and spin the following:

  1. I was a big fat liar – I had received a paper bill but had just neglected to pay it.
  2. I probably accidently signed up for paperless billing and had ignored the email too.

 No and no!!  Luckily I caught AT&T with their pants down this time and I managed to squeeze my payment in 24 hours before they would have charged me for a late payment but really – there must have been tons of other people who didn’t get to it in time when their bills went ‘missing’ and those poor fools got suckered into paying the late charge.

 Of course it’s only a few dollars – but a few dollars extra from even just 20% of AT&T’s customers will make these wealthy wealthy people even more FILTHY RICH.  FOR NO OTHER REASON BUT THAT THEY DECIDED TO BE SNEAKY. Lord above it annoys me.  BB has a punching bag down in his basement that he’s offered me use of to punch my anger out over my divorce.  I don’t have any anger over my divorce. I am very happy not to be married to an irresponsible child anymore – the only sad part is that Finn is going to have travel back and forth between two homes like the proverbial ping  pong ball most of his childhood. BUT I may have to take him up on his punching bag offer to punch out my fury over AT&T and Wells Fargo Dealership and their conspiracy to squeeze ever more money out of innocent consumers.

Don’t you have enough yet? What else do you want from us apart from the entireties of our bank accounts? Are you going to come and shave our head in the middle of the night so you can sell the hair to some factory you own in the Far East where you have enslaved four-year-olds sewing together wigs?  When will you be satisfied you greedy greedy bastards?


I’m done now.  No more need for the punching bag. Phew!



  1. You’re not alone in this thinking! I have Centennial as my cell provider & they NEVER send my bill until the day after it’s due… causing a ridiculous late fee. I’ve just gotten into the habit of paying ahead of time… Now my account has several credits instead of horrendous late fees. It is a pain in the ass, though.

  2. If there’s theory involving AT&T being evil, I support it. That company had me in screaming tears multiple times when I had them as my internet provider. Now we just split internet with our neighbor. We pay our neighbor each month, half of what we’d pay AT&T, and I never have to deal with those incompetent, greedy, evil buffoons ever again. One thing I learned: Every time you talk to someone, take down their name, the exact time of the call, and a case number if they have one. B/c next time you call, the next person you talk to will have no record of whatever the first person promised you, and will tell you something completely different. Aaaah, the fury!

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