American Men: An Update

November 20, 2010 at 8:35 am (Manners, Men folk)
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So I feel it’s my duty to keep you all up-to-date with yet more of my opinions about the ever gracious manners of American men. Today I had a man hold the elevator for me for a record minute and a half (it’s a long time to just stand there) as I slowly strolled across the lobby of my office building.  Then as soon as I got off the elevator – and this one blows my mind – a man who was about to walk through a door about five paces in front of me, stopped, backed out of the door, stood to the side and waited for me to walk through first!! And there wasn’t even a door to hold. It was just a rectangular hole in the wall. Hey… wait a minute… I’ve just had a thought.  Maybe all this American male politeness isn’t as polite as I thought it was.  Maybe all these American men have just figured out that if they let a woman pass in front of them they get a good chance to check out her fine bottom unobserved…  Hmm.  Is this the true reason for the invention of chivalry?

American men? Care to let me know what’s really going on?

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A warmed toilet seat

August 5, 2010 at 9:22 am (british ex-pat, Rants and raves and foams at the mouth, The human body)
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So what do y’all think about the warming of a toilet seat?

Personally I hate to sit on a toasty toilet seat – it makes me think of the last person who made it that warm way rubbing their germy bottom all over mine.  And yes there are disposable loo seat covers you can use but I’m from England – we don’t roll that way. Plus – I’m more paranoid than most about my carbon footprint and I feel Guilty Enough that I don’t print my work double-sided (my brain can’t deal with it.) So my reasoning is that maybe if I don’t use the loo seat covers, that will make up for the single sheet printing…

In Roald Dahl’s book ‘Boy’ all about his awful childhood English boarding school experiences, he describes how the younger pupils would be bullied into warming the toilet seat for the older boys.  Like someone warming your loo seat with their arse is something to be enjoyed? Yuk. I’d rather take it freshly cold – even if it was so cold my butt froze to the seat.  But that’s just me.

A little less unpleasant – but still just not at all nice – is sitting in someone else’s freshly warmed car seat or any kind of seat that has been warmed but the heat of someone else’s buttocks. It reeks of the feeling that someone else has ‘been’ were you are now ‘being.’  And if it’s a warmed toilet seat you can probably bet that someone else has been there indeed – probably for a significant amount of time. 

Gross.

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